A WIN!

Yesterday we had a win. A new food entered his body. Not only did he try a bite, but he like it and finished it! How did this most miraculous event occur you ask? We were in an environment that had no pressure, familiar settings/circumstances and maybe had a bit of luck on our side. There is one particular grocery store my son likes to accompany me to. This store carries the one brand of saltines that he likes and the bakery has a cookie that he likes as well. Kids get a free cookie when shopping too so it's always my incentive for him to tag along. Yesterday was just like any other shopping trip. We made our rounds, ending in the bakery before checking out. The lady behind the counter give each of my boys a cookie saying "the last two of our pumpkins!" I almost told her 'no thanks,' cringing at the idea of what his reaction would be to this foreign cookie but that's not fair to Michael who has no food aversions and not fair to Alex to not be given the chance to decide for himself. I do my best to not react as she hands them each the cookie in her had, say thank you while I hold on to hope that she won't be witness to the most epic of all cookie withdrawal meltdowns and start pushing the cart towards the checkout. I watched while trying not to be obvious... and trying not to run into anyone or anything... and without giving it a second thought, he took a bit out of the stem of the pumpkin shaped cookie.

Now I should probably mention that this cookie was not just shaped like a pumpkin instead of the usual circle. Those variances are hard enough to deal with in the face of ARFID. These cookies were a different consistency and flavor. His cookie is a soft baked sugar cookie with sparkly sugar he is convinced is salt whereas this pumpkin was a much harder shortbread cookie. ARFID parents out there can probably feel the level of anxiety I was feeling as this played out. As he took that bite and I held my breath, a smile started forming on his lips. I wanted to jump up and down for joy but I didn't want to jinx it either. He took a long pause after that first bite. I took that chance to ask about the cookie. He said he gave it 2 thumps up and smiled. We paused a took a picture of him with his cookie to send to dad and by the time we get to the checkout he had the entire cookie gobbled down.

We discussed the cookie more when we got home. Me: Was it scary trying a different type of cookie?

Alex: No.

Me: How come?

Alex: I usually like what they give me.

Me: Did it taste the same as your usual cookie?

Alex: No.

Me: If I found those cookies and brought them home, would you eat them?

Alex: Yeah.

Me: So is trying new things still scary?

Alex: Yes. Sometimes when you are dealing with ARFID, there may seem to be no logical reason for the aversion, for the anxiety associated with the aversions or for the random moments when the anxiety doesn't take hold. Whatever it was in that moment that allowed his fear to take a back seat to his curiosity, it's given us a stepping stone to future conversations. It's hopefully given him a bit of confidence the next time he is faced with an uncomfortable food situation. What made it even better was having this picture of little 1 year old Alex in my memories today.