Surviving Halloween

Halloween and all the fun that goes with it can be a panic attack waiting to happen for the ARFID sufferer. When Alex was little, his sensory issues prevented him from wanting to wearing the costumes and to this day he (and his brother for that matter) won't say trick or treat due to selective mutism. When you have ARFID, unless candy is one of your safe foods, there's almost zero point in going and joining in the festivities.

For Alex, he does a full size Hershey bar every day with lunch and does enjoy plain m&m's and the occasional sucker. So trick or treat isn't a total loss for him, but it's usually pretty darn close to a wash out. As he's gotten older and more accepting of costumes, he's enjoyed coming along and sharing in the fun.

The key to making the festivities enjoyable is preparation. I can't stress that enough. We talk about all the possible scenarios ahead of time to make sure he's prepared. We also pre-buy a few of his favorites ahead of time to make sure we can even out the loot if need be afterwards.

Tonight we went to a trunk or treat that is hosted by a local church every year down the street from us. Before we went, I prepared Alex and Michael both that afterwards we would combine what they brought home. I asked Michael if it was okay for Alex to take out what he wanted first and leave all the rest for him. This is what we do every year but I make a clear plan each time to avoid any fighting afterwards. The other issue that comes up is when people let the kids pick what treats to take. We have asked Michael that if he sees any Hershey bars, plain m&m's or suckers when faced with the choice that he grab those for Alex since chances are that there will be more that Michael will like in the end than Alex will. Vice versa when faced with the choice Alex sometimes will shy away if he doesn't see an option that he likes. To encourage his participation, we ask him to do the same for Michael. If he sees a Twix bar, a fun dip, airhead, twizzler or any other candy Michael might like when he doesn't see one of his own favorites to reach in and grab that for him so he's looking out for his brother just like his brother is doing for him.

Once the night is over and the loot has been sorted, it can be quite discouraging for him to see how much Michael gets then he does. He usually keeps a smile on his face through it but it can be emotional when after a day or so his candy stash is gone and Michael still has another weeks worth or better. For that reason, I usually pick up a bag or two of Alex's favorites to restock his candy bowl and keep his sugar rush on par with Michael's.

I understand that Halloween is going to look different for anyone with ARFID as their food aversions will be different and may mean different accommodations will be needed. The teal pumpkin project is designed for food allergies but I find it a good idea to use for those kids like mine who may benefit from non-food treats when they are available. Some kids may wish to skip trick or treating and instead pass out candy with a family member or neighbor. Whatever you decide, make sure your ARFID kid is fully onboard with the plan. They may want to participate so they don't miss out on the fun with their friends. They may not want to participate because of smells while out and about. They must be comfortable with whatever the plan is.

I wish everyone a fun, safe and anxiety free Halloween!

Peter Parker and Miles Morales ~ AKA Michael and Alex Brown. Halloween 2019

Their loot this year. Alex found 19 suckers, 1 Hershey bar and 1 bag of M&M's that he likes while Michael had a total of 72 pieces of assorted candies to pick from after it was all sorted.

A better visual of the vast difference in their candy loot from Night 1 of our Halloween 2019 festivities.